Women's Issues Articles
 

 
How to Thrive in the Midst of PMS
By Amy Phillips-Gary

You don't have look far to see portrayals of pre-menstrual
women out of control and anguished. Drug manufacturers
promise women ease from the physical discomfort and
emotional roller coaster they might suffer from PMS-- pre-
menstrual syndrome. Comedy sketches show PMS-driven women
devouring entire cakes, smashing furniture and threatening
co-workers with battle axes. Whether it's comedy or a drug
ad, PMS is not portrayed as positive or pleasant. You might
agree if you go through any range of monthly symptoms that
are not only uncomfortable, but even seem to stand in the
way of you thriving in your life and relationships.

PMS is almost always attributed to the cyclical raising and
lowering of specific hormones within a menstruating woman's
body. Because of this when a woman feels or acts moody, and
it's around her menstrual period, everyone usually chocks
her intensity up to hormones-- or PMS.

How much is lost, however, when a woman (and those around
her) discount her feelings as merely PMS? You may choose to
believe that how you feel and act are mainly determined by
your hormones. This may help you make sense of what seems
like erratic behavior. On the other hand, attributing it
primarily (or all) to PMS, may make you feel like a victim
of your own body's processes.

Kate has a two week span on time on the calendar each month
circled in red. These are the weeks around her menstrual
period; a time she dreads and, afterwards, usually regrets.
Her boyfriend also knows the PMS time of upheaval is coming
and he tries to stay out of Kate's way. Kate has tried just
about every type of drug for PMS but it still seems that
every month she turns into a furious whirl of negative
emotions that nobody wants to be around-- including Kate
herself.

Acknowledge EVERYTHING you are feeling.
Start out by recognizing how you are feeling no matter what.
If you feel irritated or even outraged, allow yourself to
feel that. Don't minimize or ignore your uncomfortable
emotions just because it happens to be in the pre-menstrual
time. Do your best to treat yourself with love and
compassion, especially right now. Know that it's ok to be
kind and accepting of yourself and anything you are feeling.
You don't have to take action or confront anyone at the
moment. Be where you are and know that this is how you feel
right now. You might feel differently in an hour, a day, or
a week and that's ok too.

Take care of your emotions.
Just as you might use a heating pad to ease cramping in your
back, do what you need to care for yourself emotionally. If
you are sad, let yourself cry as long and as deeply as
necessary. If you are angry, let that out too. Sit alone in
your car with windows up and yell if that helps you release
the anger. You might also write, paint, or dance out how you
are feeling.

Kate notices that she cries less and less as she gets older.
She remembers often being told that "big girls don't cry."
And now, especially as she's building her career and even
with her boyfriend, she doesn't want to show any weakness
that tears seem to her to indicate. But as she nears those
red-lined weeks of the month, what she wants most is to
cry. This time when she feels like crying, instead of
pushing aside her desire, she takes time to curl up in bed
and lets the tears flow.

Allow the cleanse.
Kate realizes how many times throughout the month she denies
herself the natural emotions that come up. Sometimes it's
wanting to cry. Other times she feels so mad she wants to
punch someone. How many times-- even when it's not around
your period-- do you push down your feelings because you are
embarrassed or feel inappropriate about them? Perhaps PMS is
when a part of you refuses to stuff down or hold back any
longer. It is as if the dam finally breaks and the
outpouring of intense emotions are finally running their
course.

You can move toward ease when you remember menstruation is a
cleansing on an emotional as well as biological level. And
you don't have to be near or on your period to permit
emotional clearing. Create regular caring time for yourself
no matter what comes up. Kate may not choose to break down
in tears at work, but she can give herself permission to
release frustration at home that same evening (or during a
work break) by crying or whatever she's drawn to do.

Choose to let go of the erratic, pre-menstrual woman at the
mercy of her hormones image. Instead, fully embrace PMS and
re-name it "Providing Myself Space." Let yourself feel what
you feel and love yourself as the varied and beautiful you.
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Amy Phillips-Gary is a free-lance writer, homeschool mom and personal growth adventurer.









 

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